dharmabumgrl's Diaryland Diary
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I wish I had a river, I could skate away on.....
You know what its like when people make you feel welcome, for instance, say its Christmas, and you always go with your boyfriend to his family Christmas. And they absolutely adore you and they say that you are so sweet and giving, be that as it may, your not whole your not a part of the whole. Your you.. Tawnya, who feels like shes alone most often, and who usually does what she can to push people away and continue to feel that separation. They are all wonderful, and I do everything I can to let them know I appreciate it. but sometimes I wonder what its like to know that all these people love you and always have. They do really sweet things like call you all the time and inquire how you are and even help you get ahead without you having to ask. They genuinely love you. and because they always have, you probably take if for granted.... Unless your dating someone like me.. who doesn't have that, then when his mother calls and says, "chad, I know you guys were in need of a new comforter, so look for the one I sent you in the mail." and he says, "uh, what color?" I say, "For god sakes chad, say thank you and who cares what color, trust your mother, it'll be fine." I see chad with his dad, his sisters, his uncles his grandma and grandpa.. what connection this family has. its wonderful, and they are all so great to me, they really like me and I so appreciate that and really like them back.. but.. do you know what I mean? Like I would love to feel the warmth of always having that love and affection my whole life.. .... .. They got us some really wonderful gifts which I never expect but always app recite. Chads mother bought me a lot of cute cloths and pretty much everything she new I wanted this year.. She is by far the coolest person alive. She also got me a gift card for $50 for H&M, her boyfriend who barely talks but is so very sweet, he got me a $50 gift card for Urban outfitters, Chads sister got me these really cool scented oil, stick things that make the room smell nice.. two of them actually, Chads dad and step mom got me $100 for H&M, his grandma and grandpa gave me a card with $20 and some really cool wooden beaded necklaces and bracelets. they are so sweet I love his family.. Chad and I being low on funds made all of our gifts, we made really cool customized xmas cd's and other music cd's, chad made a dozen hand made pottery mugs and I made cloved oranges for everyone.. this is not at all as good of gifts as they gave but they took alot of time and effort and they were filled with love.. "awwwwe!"
11:35 p.m. - December 27, 2005
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