dharmabumgrl's Diaryland Diary
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Ok a spill we are having
Each evening I gravitate to my bedroom, to my computer.. I long for solitude. I long for drink.. I long to simmer in my sadness. I think maybe I'm ok, I say it aloud to chad, he gets hopefull, I play it off till the evening when once again I gravitate to the computer to wallow in self-pity. I look up Angela Shelton, she makes me see that someone out there is like me but had the guts to do something about it. ... I will never get out of this. try as I might, I won't, my parents will hate me, my son will resent me and I will continue to blame myself for all of this.. Fix it.. I'd love to, but I really don't know how to begin that process. I'm in big trouble.....and no one can save me.....
8:04 p.m. - January 10, 2006
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