dharmabumgrl's Diaryland Diary
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The beginning of a life
When I was 16, a junior in high school. I had a boyfriend named Rafael. We had been dating for 3 months, we became sexually active. We were having sex all the time, at his house his parents allowed us to close the door when I visited, guess what we were doing? He was very inexperienced compared to me. I had several sexual partners already compared to his one time of feeling up a girl after a quinsenetta. He hadn't had sex before me. Anyway, Rafael became possessive over me. I began to lose interest. I wanted to break up but then.. I became pregnant. One month went by and I didn't have a period.. Naively, I thought, oh something else is wrong.. Another month went by and I was feeling sick and tired and I thought, something is wrong with me.. Did I think I was pregnant?... No. I went to the doctor after the third period was missed. The thoughts in my head were not that I was missing periods so I was pregnant. They were.. Something is wrong with me making me miss my periods....
I went to the doctor, he asked me.. "Tawnya, are you sexually active?" I replied "NO WAY!!!" He did further tests and concluded that I had an ulcer. The whole finger up the butt and everything... I asked the doctor, can an ulcer mess with the menstrual cycle? He replied, well, yes it could.. Have you been missing yours? I said no.. He prescribed "Tagamet" for my ulcer. And he said to me, "Tawnya, are you sure that you are not pregnant? I said yes, I don't have sex!" He said "well ok, because you cannot take Tagamet during pregnancy." I said "ok"
Yes, I took them and I asked my mom to drive me to Ralph�s house and I told him that I had an ulcer and that is why I missed my period. He and I were relieved. But I had the TOTAL feeling of denial. I truly believed that I was not pregnant.
Finally, another month went by and I was not getting my period so Ralph took me to Planned parenthood on Coffee road in Modesto, I was on my way in to the appointment when I was stopped out side by a protestor (PRO LIFE) she handed me a home pregnancy test and asked me to stay there with her and take the test. She said that if I go in I will be talked into "destroying the life growing inside of me� Me, 16 scared and confused, I stayed there took the test. It was positive. She then asked me when I remember last having my period. I told her she then proceeded to show me a picture of the actual size of the baby inside of me. I cried.
She drove us home to her house. Where we met her three kids and husband. We told her my situation. A history of sexual abuse swept under the rug.. She became our friend...
12:46 a.m. - 2001-08-31
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