dharmabumgrl's Diaryland Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
needs no description.
You know I just realized something, I've been on a good streak for awhile now, I have not gotten sad about my past or my lack of family, (since I recently decided to let go of toxic parents its been a blessing)... but now.. after quite a good stint. I've decided to listen to an emotional song about fathers. and I considered sending these things to my parents the things that explain to them my stance on all of this.. and then i considered what it would be like if they finally apologized.. because at 33.. am I really looking for them to say sorry? and for it to all be better?
I'm partly afraid that its been there so long... that now I am used to it being there to recall when I need a good cry.. I don't want it to go away
I don't want their apologies.. I want this piece of me, this sad and lonely place in me thats always been there. if it goes away I don't know what I'd do. its my security blanket, its my constant, its what I know.. its replaced the family I do not have.
8:02 p.m. - September 17, 2006
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------